Ozempic has obviously been a hot topic, and it can be seen as cheating somewhat. I didn’t oppose anyone to using it because I want people to be healthier, but I thought of it as cheating as well. Peter Attia, the podcaster, really opened up my mind on how to view it.

The heritability of obesity has never been understood. For a long time, it was thought to be that some people have natural higher resting metabolic rates. And although that that is true, it’s only a few hundred calories of variation which wouldn’t explain obesity. Metabolism increasing supplements didn’t move the needle, but GLP-1 agonists like Ozempic have significant improvements and they work on the satiety signals. So now it’s hypothesized that the genetic differences in weight are from differences in satiety.

But regardless of cause, we have drugs now that can fight something that we’re genetically predisposed to. Attia points out, many people have to take pharmaceuticals to combat genetic predispositions to high cholesterol and high blood pressure. I’m on drugs for both of those. No one calls that cheating. Ozempic is no different.

In “Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will,” Sapolsky makes a methodical case for Determinism and lack of Free Will. Despite its methodicalism, it’s still hard to comprehend the ramifications of lacking Free Will. He, however, makes a compelling case for a weak Determinism.

When we are born, a lot of who we become is restricted. Twin and mendelian randomization studies show how much our physical and mental traits are genetic. No matter hard I tried, I could never be an NBA basketball player. And if I were born in a third world country, the opportunities available to me would not nearly be the same.

Does that mean that my life is Deterministic? I’m not sure, it’s just hard to really grasp. But what that does mean is to be more compassionate with other people. The lesson is the same as I had with Ozempic. Some people may have problems outside of their control. And probably we all do.

He was in the position of a man seeking food in toy shops and tool shops.

Tolstoy, Leo. Anna Karenina

I never read much fiction. I just always thought I could learn more from non-fiction. But after reading Existential philosophers that referred to Dostoevsky and Tolstoy, I thought I’d give Russian Lit a try.

I started with “Brothers Karamazov” and “Notes from the Underground.” I appreciated the philosophical ideas weaved into the characters, but it didn’t really grip me. You can see yourself in each of the characters, but not in a compelling way.

For me, Tolstoy, on the other hand, writes in a way that has relatable characters that you feel for. He’s tapped into the human condition. And this is something only fiction can do. It’s one thing to explain human behavior, but another to experience it. I’ve never been emotionally moved by something I’ve read, but there have been two instances in “War and Peace” that genuinely evoked emotion. I’m still shocked that it happened.

The quote above rang true to my existential dread that I’ve been having. I could busy myself with toys and tools, but I wasn’t finding the food that provides sustenance for a meaningful life.

And speaking of food, he’s a vegetarian. His essay, “The First Step,” says the first thing to lead a moral life is to abstain from eating meat. I’d say it’s in the same vein as my saying that our food choices are an everyday moral act in a previous post.

My existential anxiety has subsided recently. Partly due to the weather and partly due to volunteering at the Berkeley Humane Society. But I think Tolstoy nails it on the head. It’s mostly because I’ve been enjoying my time with Tina. She just makes my worries go away.

The anxiety isn’t nearly as bad as it was during covid. There’s just small thoughts about existential dread of meaninglessness. These feelings I’ve had before covid. One of my aunts passed away and her funeral was last week. Her death was a reminder of the tragic final destination that we all have.

I wasn’t very close with my aunt, we didn’t speak the same language. But she was always a positive person that always had a smile on her face. I got really sad thinking about how I won’t be able to see that smile again. I then got really sad thinking about how little time I probably have left with my parents.

But I had a mix of emotions. There’s gratitude that comes with death, that we get a chance to live at all is a blessing. I am not that close to my extended family, but seeing the power of the comfort that everyone gave each other was moving. So in some ways, the funeral helped alleviate some anxiety around death.

Having a girlfriend (yes we’re official) has been great, but my routine has been really shook up and I haven’t had time to foster and volunteer for the humane society. I also used to bake more for my friends and neighbors. So I definitely have to be more dedicated in carving time in for those. And the days are getting nicer and longer so looking forward to the new year.

Suicide, depression and anxiety are on the rise. There are many factors for this, but the surgeon general Dr. Vivek Murphy attributes it to the loneliness epidemic. Brooks explains that our social institutions such as church and community centers are being replaced by social media. Being a good person is being replaced by achievement. The philosopher Byung Hul Chan explains that the trend to being authentic is self centered and we’re losing our sense of community.

On top of that, Brooks says we’re over politicized and under moralized. We’re too busy trying to dunk on the opposition, instead of trying to bring good into the world. He suggests we follow Iris Murdoch’s morality. “For Murdoch, the essential immoral act is the inability to see other people correctly.”

Brooks suggests we need to practice our theory of mind more. Theory of mind is developed around the ages of 4-5. Kids start to understand that their parents can’t see what they see. However, to have a very strong theory of mind, is to understand that another person’s perception of the world can be different from yours. And there are many factors that can influence their behaviors and beliefs.

He references one of my favorite books that I read over 10 years ago. “Personality,” by Daniel Nettle explains how different personality types evolved. And more importantly, Nettle explains why each personality type is useful in different situations, there is no “best” personality.

To understand someone is realizing that they have different personality tendences, as well as a different cultural and environmental upbringing. And that can produce differing opinions. With a better understanding of one another, we can perhaps bridge the gap in resolving differences.

On top of this, I find that life is more enjoyable learning about people. Brooks, like me, considered himself a shy, quiet person. But he found in his 40s, talking to strangers became a fun experience. In the past year, I’ve found myself opening up and connecting with random people. And everytime, I get a positive feeling and it gets reinforced.

I didn’t have a conscious notion of what drew me to Metallica as a teenager. I think in this Metallica interview, they keyed in on it:

The intensity is in line with my interests. I like bouldering because it’s the most intense form of rock climbing. And maybe on a subconscious level, metal music relieved existential anger. Themes of death didn’t resonate with me as a teenage, but they certainly do now.

On top of enjoying their music, they’re legitimately good people. In all of their interviews you can tell that they’re being themselves. They have their own foundation and do concerts to provides instruments for less privileged kids.

When they sued napster for music piracy, their public image got destroyed. Even though I also pirated music, I was on their side. Artists should get paid for what they create. The hungry, suffering artist shouldn’t be a thing.

This goes back to Rick Rubin’s idea of the Source. The Source is an abstract object that binds us, or is the Platonic Truth. Artists are the conduit to the source. The reason why art is powerful because it brings together in pursuit of meaning.

I just saw Metallica in Palm Springs, and it was definitely a religious experience. Singing together is no different from prayer. And the music speaks to me and my existential fears.

*Tangent*

Zane Lowe who did the interview linked also did an amazing one with blink 182:

Metallica did a documentary called “Some Kind of Monster” that showed the group therapy that was done that prevented the band from breaking a part. Blink suffered a break but was mended through Mark’s diagnosis of cancer. I think they shared the problem of being young and trying to develop their own sense of identity within and without the band. Both interviews show the maturity and wisdom that brought them back together.

I failed to mention that cancel culture isn’t the true enemy of free speech, but censorship is. Currently the onus is on the tech companies to regulate what can be said on social media. Misinformation and hate speech is certainly a problem on these platforms, and I think that censorship can be a good thing. Mounk thinks that censorship is an insidious threat that can lead to authoritarianism. When the lines of what can be said is dictated by an authority, that’s a problem. As well as it creates an oppression of unpopular beliefs, that can lead to more drastic reactions.

To me, the main takeaway is that there are pros and cons to every decision, and Mounk is pointing out the not obvious cons. That’s what’s interesting to me, the ‘best’ solution lies somewhere in the dialectic, and it’s constantly changing. The pendulum seems to swing wider and wider, but I wonder if the pendulum of radical vs moderate will swing back to moderate.

The Identity Trap to Mounk is our recent move to emphasis identity and that universal treatment of people does not treat racism/bigotry. It stemmed from a post modernism philosophical and critical race theory movement, and was propagated by institutions, social media, and now news media. Post-modernism (in my naive summary of it) is the idea that government and knowledge are all based on keeping the current establishment in power, and that those should be rejected. CRT is a field that tries to analyze how race is important in law and social constructs. I believe the idea is that instead of saying we have equal rights and all is good, we have to delve further into the history to undo previous wrongs. And also that race should be celebrated, it is part of our identity and we’re not all the same.

After the history, Mounk takes a stand that universalism is the key forward. Not that differences between race and injustices should not be analyzed, but that the identity trap causes more conflict, especially amongst liberals. Cancel culture is a by product of the Identity Trap. A white cis person cannot speak their views because they’re not an oppressed minority. The expectation is that anything someone speaks about has to take into consideration everyone’s identity, which is infinite. So if they anger anyone, can be cancelled.

Which leads into another debated topic of free speech. Mounk says it’s a true liberal, which includes freedom of speech. So he is against the firing of anyone because of their opinions. I was actually for the firing of people that have shitty views and post them online. It’s a free market, and they’re using a private platform, they should be punished. Mounk makes a compelling case cancel culture is insidious for a healthy society. If an ideology can effectively silence opposing opinions based on what they think is right, that can lead to fascism. Now I’m more on the fence.

I really enjoyed the book because it brings to light an interesting dialectic of identity - universalism. It’s important to have both, but when it comes to politics and action, it’s not so simple. If we just went forward ignoring race, we couldn’t undo the wrongs that were done. Affirmative Action has been stricken down, but then how are schools going to give people of less privilege a chance? (even at the expense of Asians). Cultural appropriation is another tricky one. When is it celebrating another culture and mixing into our pot vs. using a heritage that doesn’t belong to us?

It applies to gender too. It’s important to separate the biological differences between the sexes for say, medical or sports purposes. But at the same time, those who identify with something else need to be heard too. “The Witch Hunt of JK Rowling” was a good podcast series because it explained JK Rowling’s side. When anyone can identify as anything, it’s detrimental to feminism. She would have been cancelled if Harry Potter wasn’t so damn good. But also, maybe it’s because she had her side that was legitimate too.

The long form interview has been long perfected by Howard Stern (he has a Bruce Springsteen interview on HBO). Celebrity ‘interviews’ on talk shows are basically clickbait that publicists have to approve of. And even on longer shows, the interviews are heavily edited. Howard let the guest relax and go off the cuff for an hour plus. You get to really know the person - their craft and the human side of them.

Podcasts have expanded that to experts of all kinds of fields. I learn about food, philosophy, psychology, mental and physical health. And I recently found some about writing and politics that I can’t find time for.

There is just in an insane amount of knowledge that can be dispersed in on this technology, and the creator gets paid for it. And they have control of their monetization. Some use subscriptions, some use ads, and some do both. With the ads, they can choose who they support. All of the incentives are aligned, it’s a perfect ecosystem.

Here are my weekly listens, I’ll link a podcast that’s a good representation of them. I’ll list them in ascending order of nerdiness.

• Conan O’ Brian - my favorite funny person: Arnold Schwarzenegger.

• Recipe Club - David Chang and his bff talk about making fan recipes. It's like watching a food show, you don't need to know anything to enjoy: Lemons.

• Rich Roll - mental and physical wellbeing: Arthur Brooks on happiness.

• Andrew Huberman -nerdier wellbeing: David Linden on death.

• Peter Attia - longevity: Oliver Burkman on time management.

• Sam Harris - philosophy, current events: David Brooks on the low trust society.

• Philosophize This! - philosophy: Byung Chul Han on small rituals.

I’ve been off of it for about a week, and this last weekend the Hamas terrorist attacked happened. I was actually at a music festival, so seeing the imagery taken from the attack at a festival definitely shook me. The shock was mostly sadness and fear. The next day it shifted to anxiety. Not only the existential dread of world war and terrorism, but the social media polarized commentary. I get anxiety because people can’t seem to have a conversation about anything. Palestine - Israel as complex as it gets, that’s probably unsolvable. But I got reminded of the tribalism and reductionism that leads to our polarization.

That anxiety did subside after a few days. And I still think that anxiety is good to have, it’s a sign that it is something to worry about. So I think my general anxiety disorder is in at least remission.

Other stuff:

I had a define the relationship conversation with Tina. I said I’m ready to make it official, but she thinks it’s still early since we both have been traveling so much. I was ready for that possibility coming into it, but it stung a bit. I’m not worried though.

I’m doing my last class for my “philosophy graduate certificate” through harvard extension. I’ve been toying with the idea with a philosophy phd but I hate writing. I think I’ll go into something more practical, like social psychology or political science.

I think my dream ‘job’ would be opening a bike shop that builds custom bikes and using that money to fix up donated bikes so underprivileged people can ride mountain bikes. But for now I got bigger filet o fish to fry.

My primary project is to start a nonprofit around meat offsets. It’s like carbon offsets…but for meat. That’s in the process of filing, so will update more later.

Secondary I still want to create some art. Still something around time. Being in the moment. Or our limited time here. Or our relationship to the past, present and future. I like hour glass/sand, gears, and pendulum imagery. That’s all I got.

The Dunning - Kruger effect is commonly referenced to show that people often overestimate their skill. What it is less known for is that highly competent people underestimate their skill. As Aristotle put it, the more you know, the more you know you don’t know. My inner critic says that already comes off as pompous.

In my head, I think I need to have an ongoing disclaimer that I live a very privileged life and am still naive. But I will try to be okay with not having that. The writing is for my own benefit, and gives a window to my current thoughts for everyone else.

I write for myself, and I wish to declare once and for all that if I write as though I were addressing readers, that is simply because it is easier for me to write in that form.

Notes From the Underground, Dostoevsky

It reminds me of something I’ve noticed with my friends and family that have kids. They have varying levels of paid assistance in helping take care of the kids, but it’s always stressful. And there’s never enough time. Raising kids always fills the room. My parents didn’t have any help, and when my oldest brother was born, my mom brought him to her sewing job. I’m sure our generation has it easier, but I don’t know if it’s a lot easier. There’s always something to worry about.

I’m drawn to Existentialism because it tries brings to light the fundamental problem of all humans. We’re all thrown into this world. The absurdity. Life is hard for all of us.

That’s not a bad thing. Buddhism takes suffering as a given. It’s all in how you frame it. It can be seen as a time for growth. Or as something that bonds us all together. This beckons back to a lesson from “Four Thousand Weeks.” Be compassionate with one another.

He was recently on Sam Harris’ podcasts and gave a pretty interesting take on the political landscape in America. He also has a new book coming out, “How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen,” so I searched if he was on any other podcasts. He was on this past march with Dr. Vivek Murphy, the US Surgeon General, and I really recommend the episode:

Dr. Murphy wrote a book that came out in the midst of COVID, but it addressed the loneliness epidemic that was already happening. David takes a grass roots approach to the solution. He thinks people need to learn skills and values that improve their connection to one another. He thinks the greatest gift a person can receive is being seen and heard. An interesting take on AI is that the jobs will remain are the ones that connect with humans. It’s a tautological argument, the only thing AI can’t take from us is our connection to another human.

The thing that really resonated with me is that David said he was kind of an aloof kid growing up and only in his midlife that he really valued connecting with people. I’d say that’s accurate of me. It’s something that frequently comes up in therapy.

I used to hate small talk with people, I thought it was trivial and a waste of time. A layer on top of that is that I felt a sort of guilt for having a nice life. When a barista would ask what I’m up to for the day, I’d just say I’m working. However, after having a couple drinks and/or being in another country, I would love to bullshit with people. I enjoyed those moments, so I knew it was something I could work on. I realize now that the excuses were to hide my vulnerability.*

Only took 4 years of slow exposure (and the lexapro probably helped a lot) that allowed me to hit some switch to let my guard down. Now I see every time I’m around anyone as an opportunity for connection. And if I can, to try to brighten someone’s day. It’s not a selfless act; it makes me happier too.

*I was talking to Tina on how much I like taking tests, and that I took a Rorshach test out of curiosity. That instigated my rereading of it. Key things that jump out is my lack of connection with people that weren’t close to me, as well as anxiety around forces that were out of my control. The test was taken right before covid, so before my general anxiety disorder. Who knows if it’s a self fulfilling prophecy, but pretty spot on for both. I attached it here:

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I’ve been asked a lot why I haven’t found a girlfriend yet. It’s definitely something I keep tabs on in therapy. I even volunteered and went on a mock date with another therapist with my own therapist watching to see if I’m a bad dater. The main push was to be more open for multiple dates, that chemistry sometimes takes a while to develop. I had a previous tendency to write people off after the first date, so I thought it’d be a long slog.

But then I met Tina. Well we actually met 8 years ago through a mutual friend at a Cal-USC game. We barely talked to each other then, and when I saw her on Hinge, we matched and met up. We took our dogs to the park and I was stricken by how she treats her dog Luna. Luna would kind of do what she wanted, within reason. Sniff lots of things, dig holes, roll around in the grass, and Tina wouldn’t get upset. She let’s Luna be who she wants to be. I’m pretty much the same way with Gabby. Sure, she likes to bite people sometimes, but she’s just expressing her emotions. We just let them be.

I didn’t hesitate to ask for another date, and many more. It just felt easy and right. We would get dinner or take our dogs on a hike. When friends asked how the dates were, I’d just say they’re “good.” And not to get their hopes up. I’m not sure what I expected, when I found someone that I really got along with. Such a foreign feeling.

She came up to visit me in Squamish, BC for 2 days and besides really enjoying our time together, there were a few random things that really stood out to me. We happened upon a rare bookstore, and we had a great time with the store owner. We then went to Le Labo to survey the city only smells and she made the conversion from $80 CAD to $58 USD on a guess from the top of her head that was on the money. I happen to make imperial to metric conversions in my head for fun (and to think I’m warding off dementia). And she casually used the words ‘macabre’ and ‘pithy’ in conversation. I meanwhile have to crowbar in words that I learned from recent readings.

In the end, I just like hanging out with her. She’s open minded, smart, observant, and confidant. Which I like to think I am. So fuck off Arthur Brooks! (but I’ll still buy your book (even though you’re a sell out to work with Oprah)).

Meaning and ethics are not the same thing, but they do imply each other. Sartre never finished a book on ethics, but his ethics can be inferred from his actions (and through his partner, Beauvoir’s book of ethics.) He thought that life’s meaning revolved around freedom, and he spent the later part of his life fighting oppression. I tried to write a paper that this should apply to animals but my professor said that Existentialism is by definition on related to human existence.

From Existentialists’ readings, I couldn’t see how meaning/ethics can be disentangled from our subjective viewpoint. That everything must be subjective. Parfit makes the claim there can still be objective ethics. Parfit’s most acclaimed work, “Persons and Reasons” has been described as a death by 1000 cuts. He systematically disproves common ethical theories. It’s described in a clear matter, but I couldn’t get past 20 pages.

I believe now that despite our subjective lens, that we can all converge to an objective ethics. I think this is perspectivism, but I haven’t really studied it.* As mentioned before, I have a gut emotional reaction to animal death, but I also have a philosophical belief.

Arthur Brooks, author of “From Strength to Strength” (which I highly recommend) thinks it’s important to go through a transcendental walk to find meaning, and that it is critical to a happy life. One of my professors described philosophy as a verb, that it is an ongoing discussion. So I’m sure my views will constantly change, but I’m enjoying the walk at the moment.

*Disclaimer - I’m a philosophy noob. I’m subject to really understanding the nuance of some of these terms, and maybe flat out wrong.

I have spent ludicrous amounts of money on snowboards and mountain bikes, but I’m very sure my friends have the same amount of fun as I do. However, I have begun using money charitably and find great happiness and life satisfaction from it.

For a long time I thought donating money was kind of cheating. From a couple clicks, I can wash my conscious clean and go back to hedonism. That still maybe the case, but each time I do it, I find it more rewarding than I thought it would be. I’ve donated $100k in the last year to local nonprofits that I care about, and it’s something I’m proud of. Again, there are mixed feelings because it’s actually easy to do, and it’s not money that I even earned to be frank.

But even more rewarding is finding ways that a small amount of money can bring a lot of happiness.

I make it a point now that when someone is outside a store asking for donations to stop and donate. It must suck to stand outside all day trying to get people’s attention, let alone their money. I’m trying to collect as many non-profit memberships as possible this way. I’m up to 6, with the nature conservancy having 2 of them. For the last one, it was a kid in front of the whole foods in oakland. He said I was the only one that subscribed and it made his day.

There’s a local hardware store that helped me with propane parts, and they’re always so cheerful and happy. I bought them a box of donuts (which supports another local business) and they were shocked. I think showing appreciation in words is always nice, but a really small gift can go a long way.

And maybe my most proud use of money is paying for music lessons for kids in Truckee. I’m not sure what inspired me, but I just emailed the store owner and said I’d fund music lessons monthly if he knew of any kids interested. And it was done. The money supports the shop, music teachers, and improves the community with music.

So for me, money can buy a lot of happiness. It’s just a very useful and easy lever to make change in the world that I want. And I also think my family that financially supported me would be proud and happy that I’m happy. Well maybe not my parents, but that’s a different story.

It’s a mix of things that create an intense sadness. The thought of not seeing him again. Seeing how sad the family is and knowing they will be suffering for a long time. Watching the mom was the worst. I can imagine when a person passes, they can have hope in their children to continue an amazing life. There’s also a feeling of injustice. Why does this happen to a good person. Which melds with the feeling of despair in a cold world that does not care about justice or our finitude.

I wouldn’t say I’m depressed from it, but it came with an intense sadness. And the sadness is good, it’s important to feel, to get a salience of the importance of our time.

I bought pizza for my friend george and me, after the memorial. I got a vegan one, his a standard. He’s was still a little unclear of my feeling towards not eating dairy. What is not widely known is with eggs and dairy, the male chicks and calves are killed. And although new life is brought into the world, half are killed. With the gravity that I put on death, I don’t think I can come to terms with that.

I became a fan of his after the exhibit was displayed, but a friend gave me the same titled book from him. The name alone is perfect. In a few words, it describes the dialectic of our relationship to time. It’s both important to be patient, as the common usage of the phrase, but also that we must actively “take” it. It’s a limited resource, and must make the most of it.

As I think about our limited time here, I find myself trying to be as productive as possible. However, scheduling and time are my biggest stressors to life. If I have a lot to do in a day because of appointments, or I have a baking schedule to follow, I feel like I’m rushing through it and stressed out.

When assembling my ebike, the conflict came out in a small way. As I was eager to finish it, I rushed putting in an inner tube in before the tire and found the tube got jammed when I put the tire on. Out of frustration and speed, I tried pulling the inner tube out and I ended up creating a tear in it. So the whole operation got delayed by two days before I could get another tube.

It’s a very counterintuitive thing to do. To slow down, when there’s limited time. I find it really hard to take a day to do nothing. It’s something I think that’s worth working on.

His more recent book, “The Sweet Spot,” discusses why we enjoy suffering, and why suffering gives achievements for meaning. This is another irrational thing we do. We ascribe more meaning if someone suffers for something. Again, the point is to notice these things, not necessarily ignore them. So the sweet spot is embracing that the suffering can provide us with pleasure. Exercise, hard work, meditation, etc require some sort of suffering.

I find that not eating dairy and meat can be torturous. But at the same time that gives me meaning, which makes it very sustainable. Do I actually make an impact on the world? Probably not, but the ‘sacrifice’ gives me peace of mind.

Kahneman shows that the remembering self doesn’t add up all the pleasure and pain from the experience. The end summation of discomfort is more than remembered. However, psychologists Paul Bloom contends that it doesn’t mean hedonism shouldn’t be discarded then, even if you don’t remember it. Those hedons add up to something, to a better life, it just isn’t captured in these experiments.

I think most people would agree. Which in turn, I think people should value animal wellbeing. Even if they can’t remember or don’t have a higher sense of those pleasures, they do have instantaneous experience. So if we value our hedons, we should value theirs.

My first venture into meditation was with Kabat-Zinn’s, “Full Catastrophe Living.” It teaches the clinically proven mindfulness based stress relief (mbsr). The main practices are focusing on breathe, body scans and walking meditations. Meditation is a paradox in that you shouldn’t go into it with goals, but people look to it for goals. Especially for mbsr, the goal is literally in the name. But the idea is with practice, that is the side benefit.

With practice, you can look at your thoughts without judgement. And can zoom out and notice your thoughts and be able to let them go. Kabat-Zinn’s analogy is that most of the time you’re stuck in a cloud of thought. With a mindfulness practice, you can zoom out of the cloud and see the sky. Which is filled with other thoughts/sensations.

Sam Harris’ analogy is that each thought is a wave. Some are big waves that can overpower you. But you can notice them and be aware that it’s a wave and weather it through. His app is what I use now as my daily practice. He has daily guided meditations that are 10 or 20 mins and has a lot of other good lectures/meditations. I highly recommend it: https://www.wakingup.com/

His meditations go more into the exploration of consciousness. He questions if there’s any difference between seeing/hearing something and thinking something. He believes that they are all non-different and just cognition events. Just like the feeling of self. Which leads into the buddhist principle of non-self. He further theorizes that the feeling of free will is also an illusion.

You don’t have to believe any of those things to get the benefit of the app. The idea is to explore for yourself and see if those meditations resonate with you.