Who am I to unravel one of the three biggest mysteries in the universe? (The other two: Why is there something rather than nothing? And how did life arise from dead matter?)
Pollan, Michael. A World Appears: A Journey into Consciousness
The mystery Michael Pollan is trying to unravel is why is there consciousness. But this quote from the introduction really struck a chord. Not his questioning of his authority to tackle the mysteries, but that there are these existential mysteries that are fundamental to our being that are unsolved.
As mentioned previously, I’ve gone through a couple of existential crises. The first, in college, about the meaningless of life. The second, during Covid, was more based around being brought into existence to suffer. Time cured the first episode and SSRIs and therapy remedied the second.
A friend of a friend passed recently, and it is incredibly tragic. He was my age and a super positive person, and left behind a family that includes two children. The message in his partner’s memorial service is to celebrate his life. I can only imagine the suffering she is going through, but that is the best way to look at it.
God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, “Sit up!”
“See all I’ve made,” said God, “the hills, the sea, the
sky, the stars.” And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look
around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God.
Nobody but you could have done it, God! I certainly couldn’t have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You. The only way I can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn’t even get to sit up and
look around.
I got so much, and most mud got so little.
Thank you for the honor!
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!
Good night.
I will go to heaven now.
I can hardly wait...
…
Amen.”―Vonnegut, Kurt. Cat’s Cradle
God, here, I take in the abstract sense of whatever is the cause of the existential mysteries. You can really view the coin of our being here in two ways. We should be sad that we are thrown into the world to just die. Or that we should be grateful for having any time at all.